you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Do vagina's smell?
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize