i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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