Having a random hookup so left but love u
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I am mentally ready for anal.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize