she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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