i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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