My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Just cropdusted the office
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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