I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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