He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
After tacos, we're chasing women.
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