he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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