sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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