So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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