I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize