you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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