am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I met the friendliest cop last night
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize