It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize