i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize