i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
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