He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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