after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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