soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize