So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
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She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
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When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
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