I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize