i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
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After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
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And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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