I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
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