Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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