I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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