She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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