I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
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