Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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