I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
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No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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