i just sent this text using only my big toe
her facebook's as public as her vagina
pop tarts are not kleenex
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Who died my cat blue again?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize