i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
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so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
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I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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