going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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