there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize