ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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