Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize