I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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