Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
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2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
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We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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