I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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