you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
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Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
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I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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