two words: eviction party
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize