I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize