Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
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