your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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