Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize