Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
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