i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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