On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize