yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize