Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
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Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
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I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
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